


Lay Me Down

by sharedwithyou



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Angstangstangst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, F/M, FEELSFEELSFEELS, Feels, Heavy Angst, Humor, Mindfuck, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Civil War, Post-Civil War (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 04:59:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7253440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharedwithyou/pseuds/sharedwithyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the beautiful Sam Smith and his song Lay Me Down</p><p>WARNING: Civil War Spoilers. Yup</p><p> </p><p>“I know you know something Nat.”<br/>“Then you should also know I’m quite capable of keeping the information to myself.”<br/>“I suppose my puppy dog eyes won’t work?”<br/>“Not on me.” She looked away, and you almost felt bad for her.<br/>Almost.</p><p>Traitor.<br/>“You let them get away.” You tried to speak as if it were a fact, and not an accusation.<br/>“It was the best for everyone.”<br/>“Except for me and Tony.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lay Me Down

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS SAD AND YOU SHOULD READ IT
> 
> listen to Lay Me Down- Sam Smith while reading this if you want to cry
> 
> WARNING: Civil War Spoilers
> 
> this may or may not help you process all the feels from Civil War... or make them worse. one or the other
> 
> give me some love below!!!
> 
> XOXO Bucky the Mindfucker/Angstmaster

 

“Okay, this is officially worse than the time you locked me in the walk-in fridge for an hour.”

“Well, you got me back. You ate literally everything in there.”

You figured this typical banter would keep you from bashing your bestie’s head in.

“Also Clint hacked your twitter account and put up pictures of Kim Kardashian with your face photoshopped on her. Admittedly crappily, but still.”

“Yet somehow I gained another million followers.”

“Guess it was a win-win.” ‘Unlike this situation’, you wanted to snap, but a look at his bruised and defeated face stayed your mouth. And hand. “So, wanna show me the cellie our Captain Freedom dropped off?”

“No way.”

“It’s not like it has your name on it.”

“Well, it’s for your own good anyway.”

 

How, exactly?! You wanted to punch him in the gut harder than the time he tried to crash you and Nat’s sleepover.

As usual, his pathetic look saved him from a beating.

 

“Whatever. I have T’Challa on speed dial anyway.”

“You what?!” Tony made a move to grab your phone, but you twisted his arm behind him and kneed him right in the ass. “Owwie.”

“You had it coming.”

“That’s what-“ He ducked so he could finish his quip. When he looked up though, you had stalked out of the room already.

Shit.

 

 

“I know you know something Nat.”

“Then you should also know I’m quite capable of keeping the information to myself.”

“I suppose my puppy dog eyes won’t work?”

“Not on me.” She looked away, and you almost felt bad for her.

Almost.

Traitor.

“You let them get away.” You tried to speak as if it were a fact, and not an accusation.

“It was the best for everyone.”

“Except for me and Tony.” Someone should’ve pointed that out to her already, but you’d gladly take that task on.

“Tony made his decision long before I stepped in.”

“So I’m the real victim here, then?”

“I’m not exactly beaming with joy, are I?” The two of you never fought. Not even the time you accidentally puked in her Prada.

“At least you had a choice.”

“Maybe if you were nicer to him, Tony wouldn’t have locked you in the vault before all this happened.”

There was a hint of a smile on her lips, and remarkably less bitter than yours.

 

You’d think her past would give her more grounds to be pissed off about this all.

Then again, maybe she’d grown even more thick-skinned, and built some walls around her to keep her safe.

But the walls of the vault hadn’t saved you at all.

 

“I suppose even on the slim chance that I could beat you in hand-to-hand you wouldn’t tell me where they’re keeping him.”

“How slim, exactly?”

You shared that dry laugh together now, yours more mirthless than hers.

“Are you sorry, Nat?”

She didn’t hesitate to answer, but you knew it had plagued her mind more than enough. “Not really.”

“Same.” And you knew what she meant; as close to being unapologetic that you could be in this shitty situation.

 

“Not even about this.”

 

A sudden shock rippled through her as you mused. “You know, if things don’t work between me and Bucks, Black Panther seems to be quite friendly.”

“You don’t want to do this, (y/n).” She spoke through gritted teeth as you tapped the button once more.

“We both know that’s not the point, girl.”

And there was no point in apologizing as you watched irony unfold over and over, until she was passed out.

 

We had all lost loved ones, in one way or another.

Maybe because you had been forced impartial, she had trusted you enough to keep that contact information on her person while in your presence.

Or maybe this blasted war had taken a toll on everyone.

 

 

I’m coming, Bucky.

**_I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight._ **

****

 

“What a lovely surprise, (y/n). To what do we owe this pleasure?”

“Don’t worry, I’m unarmed; you can frisk me if you’d like.”

“Considering you made it here in one piece, I doubt that lack of weapons would make you any less dangerous.”

“I prefer the term adaptable.”

“Well, you’ve put me in a bit of a predicament.”

“How so, Your Highness?”

“Obviously, your presence here presents a problem.”

“And?”

“Well, I might be a bit of a sentimentalist myself.”

You gave him a crooked grin that almost split your face in half. Or was it your heart?

“Your ruling, then?”

“If Agent Rogers can vouch for you, we’ll let you see him.”

 

“(Y/n), this is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done. And we’ve seen plenty.”

“Even stupider than painting Mjolnir pink with gold sparkles?”

“Even stupider than stealing a panda from the Beijing Zoo to see if it was ‘worthy’ to wield the hammer.” He responded without a smile.

“Damn.”

“You could have been killed getting here!” He wasn’t sure if the actual act pissed him off more, or the insolence of your apparent indifference. “How did you even find out where we were?!”

“Nat.”

He shook his head. “She swore that she’d keep our location secure.”

“I can be pretty convincing.” You pulled the little contraption out of your pocket, and his eyes bulged.

“You- what-“ he grasped for words. “The hell were you thinking?!”

 

“That if you got to see him one last time, I deserved the same.”

 

There were a million accusations running through Steve the Noble’s head. But it was probably his heart that led him to finally speak.

“We never should have let you out of that vault.”

You knew that was his resignation.

“Where is he, Steve?”

 

 

“Staying frosty.”

 

 

“You couldn’t wait until I came to put him on ice?” Your voice was monotone as you stared into the prison on wheels.

“To be fair, we didn’t know you’d be coming.”

“Ever?”

You didn’t take your eyes off the handsome brunette before you, but you knew Steve would have dropped his eyes to the ground.

“It’s complicated, (y/n).”

The glass was cold to the touch as you traced the outline of his face.

The silence in his cage probably could have been rivaled by the silence surrounding all of you, as you stared at him.

 

“Ever?” It came as a whisper, as you leaned forward and hugged the chamber against you.

 

“He asked about you, you know.”

“That’s good.” There was no more bitterness in your voice.

“We all knew.”

“Mhm.”

“He loved you.”

You looked up slowly. “Is that what he said?”

 

“He didn’t have to.”

 

You shook your head and turned back to gaze at his lids, closed so peacefully.

Who knew when you’d see those blue and green and hazel eyes again?

 

“It was on his face as we put him in.”

 

And despite everything, the nerves of steel you’d built from loving the Winter Soldier, the soul that you’d frozen over so you could do what it took to find him again.

Your tears dotted the window to your other half.

 

 

“Can I lay by his side?”

 

 

There was an almost audible intake of breath from everyone in the room at this unimaginable request.

“You don’t have to wake him up.”

“(y/n)…”

“There’s too much I have to say anyway.”

Silence reigned once more.

“Not to mention, it would probably break me to see him put away again.”

“It hurts all of us, (y/n).”

 

“Maybe. But probably not as much as it hurts me.”

 

You didn’t know if Steve would ever say yes, so you reached very slowly forward on your own.

Daring them to shoot you down, knock you out, anything to stop you from the only thing you wanted right now.

 

The partition slid open without a hitch.

“I just want him in my arms one last time.”

And they could’ve grabbed you before you stepped in to be with the one you loved with all your heart.

 

  
**_Lay me down tonight  
Lay me by your side_**

****

 

If you had ever begged for anything before, it was nothing like this.

Not for your own life, or even for his; you poured your entire soul in these next words, on the smallest of hopes that they’d finally listen.

 

“Close the lid, Steve?”

 

Close the lid.

 

Lay Me Down.

 

**Author's Note:**

> BOOHOOO
> 
> leave me a comment lovelies!!!
> 
> random ramblings:  
> poll 1: WHICH PART KILLED YOU  
> “Staying frosty.”~ because it's a military/tactical phrase but it's also way too literal  
> for me
> 
> poll 2: were you able to laugh despite the angst?  
> the pink mjolnir still made me chuckle.  
> but if not it's okay.
> 
> also major irony in the beginning because tony froze you that one time like bucky is now frozen... *sob*  
> i thought it would be too much if tony actually locked you in the walk-in fridge for the duration of civil war 2-day (or so) stint  
> so he just locks you in a basic vault. which ruins your life anyway.
> 
> poll 3: HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE ENDING
> 
> i may have been a little harsh with Nat in this fic, but really it's been building for what feels like years and YES I'M NOT OVER IT.  
> PLUS SHE GETS TO BE THE GOOD GUY IN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FICS DESPITE HOW I FEEL SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.  
> *grump*  
> okay i get it, it's fine, she's the black widow, blahblahblah, i'm over it.  
> not really.
> 
>  
> 
> gimme your love below, lovelies!! thanks for reading!!!
> 
> XOXO Bucky the Angstfucker/Mindmaster
> 
> p.s. the newest chapter of civil unrest is out, feature my soul-twin's fav char, the wonderful Thor


End file.
